THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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