keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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