Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
