Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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