OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
