Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
