At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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