i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
