I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
