you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
