i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Randomize
