Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry Dankeshane1971 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup

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(410): View more from Maryland

he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.

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(956): View more from Texas

I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.

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(303): View more from Colorado

So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"

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(931): View more from Tennessee

Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know

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(518): View more from New York

My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray

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(778): View more from British Columbia

I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.

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(904): View more from Florida

I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"

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