No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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