You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
