Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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