mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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