I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Randomize
