I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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