I just saw a hot homeless man
He kissed a someone with a penis
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
