i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
