you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
