I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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