btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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