tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
