Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
