How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
