New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
