Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Randomize
