She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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