Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
