Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I can't turn off my feet"
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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