Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
The struggles of a small town man whore
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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