You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
