Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
the room spins SO much faster in panama
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'd cum for enchiladas.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
