her vagine was all disorganized.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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