all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
