ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
