playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize