And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
