summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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