am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
How does one acquire holy water?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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