ya dads aren't the best wingmen
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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