Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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