so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
