I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
