Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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