i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
