I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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