so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
