Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
