she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
