Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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