is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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