Who did Billy Mays play for?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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