Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
