you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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