The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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