this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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